im six kinds of drunk right now
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
