I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
