Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
