You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
