if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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