There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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