You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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