you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
