That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
