i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
