i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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