well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
