chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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