need another drink. this is the easiest way
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
