Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
