I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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