Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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