no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
