plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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