If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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