Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
