Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
