Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
