chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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