Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
