Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
