Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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