Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
