I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
