She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
