By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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