the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
