it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm always down for nudity.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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