its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
