the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
