We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
