It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
