So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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