Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
