i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
