goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
