the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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