"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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