lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
