you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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