when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
