69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
