just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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