i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
