We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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